Ionesco Meets Zola

An activity we had in my French literature class last semester involved writing a short skit where we wrote a work of 19th century literature in the style of 20th century literature (or vice versa).  My partner and I decided to write Zola's Au Bonheur des Dames in the style of the absurdist playwright Ionesco.
Obviously our original draft was in French (with the repeating English phrase "What a steal!").  For the purposes of this blog, I've translated it into English (and the English into French).

Denise enters stage right or maybe left.  She sees three, or sometimes five, mannequins*.

Denise:  What a pretty skirt!

Mannequin 7:  No way!  I’d much rather wear her robe!

Denise:  But you four are all dressed the same.

They are not dressed the same.

Denise: [to Mannequin 10] This hat really makes you look intelligent.  It hides your head very well.

Mannequin 10:  It only costs 300 euros.

Mannequin 7:  That’s equal to 300 yen.

Mannequin 5:  And that makes 300 francs.

Mannequin 10:  And that makes, as you know, 50 euros.

Denise:  C’est donné!

Mannequin 5:  These overcoats are also on sale.  Usually they cost 100 euros, but now they cost 1000 euros.

Denise:  C’est donné!

Mannequin:  Would you like one?  Give me 7000 Neo-Spanish dollars and I’ll give you one.

Denise:  That’s amazing!  C’est donné!

She give the money** and the mannequin gives her the hat.

Denise exits the scene or maybe the mannequins exit. 

CURTAIN

*In the production of Pierre Renot, there aren’t any mannequins.

**The money can be either imaginary or real.